Unity in Relationships

There was so much that I studied this week that I want to share. The question is how does this all tie together, after careful thought the central theme is how to unite your family, specifically the union between a husband and wife. There are several ways.

First, we must be united. A united front with our children, a union as husband and wife, as Elder Henry B Eyring shared in his article, That We May Be One, “A man and his wife learn to be one by using their similarities to understand each other and their differences to complement each other in serving one another and those around them.” (Eyring, 1998) Elder Eyring shares several ways that we can help to strengthen our unity. One such was to have the Spirit. Specifically, he shares that “Where people have the Spirit with them, we may expect harmony.” (Eyring, 1998) He also shares with us two very important warnings. “First, the Holy Ghost remains with us only if we stay clean and free from the love of the things of the world…The other warning is to beware of pride.” (Eyring, 1998) Both of these things can be achieved by following the guidance we are given through our leaders and staying close to our Father in Heaven.

Another way that we can strive to stay connected is making sure we have a proper balance within our family. In the article, Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families by Richard B Miller, he shares with us the steps to do this. First, is parents need to be the leaders of the family. What he means by this is “there is a clear hierarchy between parents and children...parents should not be harsh, domineering or dictatorial.” (Miller, 2008) Second, “Parents must be united in their leadership.” (Miller, 2008) parents need not undermine one another nor should they discuss issues with their children. Third, “The parents-child hierarchy dissolves when children become adults.” (Miller, 2008) This means as children become adults they “no longer have the right or responsibility to tell their adult children what to do.” (Miller, 2008) And fourth, “the marital relationship should be a partnership. (Miller, 2008) This means that their relationship should be one of partners. They should be equals with different responsibilities but working as a team.

The last bit of information that helps a family to be united is to have family councils. The idea of holding councils within our church began in June of 1829. Councils are put together and held through many parts of church from the First Presidency to the Bishop holding ward council to family council. These help for each person to have a say in the activities to take place as well as being able to have a vote in actions going on. The proceedings of a council don’t have a specific outline but in my family are usually something like opening with a prayer for guidance; proceeding with a discussion of things coming up; discussing any issues such as keeping the house clean and who is responsible for what; what kinds of activities do family members have that need to be discussed whether it is about who needs rides or if there are things assigned to them that they need help gathering to bring. It is important that each person have a chance to bring up what is important to them and make sure that they have a solution they are comfortable with regarding any problems. We also close with a prayer showing gratitude and appreciation for one another and our efforts to work together.

We have been given great advice for strengthening and unifying our family and our relationships. This guidance given would work for a family, a couple or even a group of people at work. The directions are there, we simply need to follow that which is placed before us for this to work for us.

J

References

Eyring, E. H. (1998, May). That We May Be One. Ensign, p. 66.

Miller, R. B. (2008). Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families. Provo: Brigham Young University.