As I begin this post, my
thoughts continue to resort back to the saying, love one another. I have
struggled this week with life and the trials placed in my path recently,
effects of a chronic illness, a child in the midst of divorce from an abusive
relationship, aging parents and the death of a family pet. In the midst of all
of this I have not always spoken kindly, I have been short tempered and overall
felt miserable. As I read through my studies this week I found myself being
reminded to speak softly, love unconditionally and above all, we need to be
nice to one another.
As I
opened Dr Goddard’s book, Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage and read the
chapter heading I knew this was exactly what I needed to hear, be more
charitable, think outside of yourself. Within the first couple of chapters I
read in regards to charity, “It is not holding our tongues while judging and
resenting others. Rather it is a sacred and heavenly gift: But charity is the
pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever:” (Goddard, 2007) We need to remember that we should not
try to pick and choose when we want to be kind and charitable, we need to
always be kind and charitable. I am having a rough week, that does not give me
the right to take out my frustrations and emotions on others, especially those
closest to me, my spouse.
We
are also reminded that “negative actions are a choice... we can also choose to
see in a heavenly and loving way.” (Goddard, 2007) .
Life is full of trials, both good and bad, and how we choose to see
those trials will make all of the difference. This is something I often tell my
children, it is also something I should try to remember for myself more often.
I found a quote in my reading this week that spoke volumes to me, it is
“Criticism does not lead to repentance and growth; it leads to anger,
defensiveness, and distance. (Goddard, 2007)
I
know that when life is difficult, it is easy to seek out ways to turn the blame
from us to others, it is human nature. We need to do all we can to avoid
this. In a rewarding marriage the
husband and wife don’t work to place blame on others, nor do they avoid the
conflict of a struggle. In the book by John M Gottman, PhD entitled, The Seven
Principles for Making Marriage Work, we are reminded, the more you can agree
about the fundamentals in life, the richer, more profound, and in a sense,
easier your marriage is likely to be.” (John M Gottman, 1999) Dr Gottman goes on
to state, “A crucial goal of any marriage, therefore, is to create an
atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her
convictions.” (John M Gottman, 1999)
Essentially,
what I am trying to convey here is that if we are kind, honest and show
Christlike charity in our lives to those around us it can have a great effect.
Life is not easy, whether you are going through it with a companion or alone,
everyone deserves to have kindness and love in their lives.
J.
Works
Cited
Goddard, H. W. (2007). Drawint Heaven Into Your
Marriage. Fairfax: Meridian.
John M Gottman, P. (1999). The Seven Principles for
Making Marriage Work. New York: Harmony.
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