Marriage With An Eternal Perspective

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and having been sealed to my partner in the Los Angeles Temple I look at marriage as a forever commitment. I also have many friends and family that have a different view and because of this I have often had to defend my perspective.

I must say that marriage is not easy nor is it something that can be taken for granted. It is a union that deserves respect, it is something that takes great effort. In the article, Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan, Elder David A Bednar shares how marriage is a part of heavenly fathers eternal plan. We are reminded that the “male and female spirits complete and perfect each other”, he also states that, “both a man and a woman are needed to bring children into mortality and to provide the best setting for the rearing and nurturing of children”. I think one of the most important things in this talk given is the statement, “each of us should be especially vigilant in seeking personal inspiration as to how we can protect and safeguard our own marriages”.

We must remember that our Heavenly Father should be a center point in our marital relationships. We can think of a marriage as a triangle, the bottom two points are the husband and wife and they both are focused forward our heavenly father is the upper point of that triangle. It allows us to have a reminder of the importance of our father in heaven in our marriage. He will help us to find that ultimate happiness in our marriage by helping us to keep and honor the covenants we have made.

Bruce C Hafen has taught that our marriage can be based on a contract or an agreement between two people or it can be viewed as a covenant, a promise between two people and the Lord. A contract requires a 50/50 effort with each person giving 50%, a covenant marriage is something that requires each person to give 100%. That is quite a difference. If you are giving your all you know you are more likely to succeed. This is especially true when we look at the fact that a grade in a class of 50% is not passing. If you only give 50% to your relationship it probably won’t survive.

Elder Hafen told a story that is one I have repeated often. It is about the three kinds of wolves that test a marriage. The first wolf is natural adversity. This would be something like the death of a loved one or financial struggles. The second wolf is your own imperfections. This would be things like negative comments or indifference of one another. The third wolf is that of excessive individualism. This is the lack of respect many have for the vows of marriage. We must not focus inward but remember to keep our spouse’s needs in our forethought. Is it more important for you to do something alone or should you include your spouse, possibly turning your activity into a date night?

Marriage is often affected by things like “distrust and suspicion”. Society today pushes the importance of space and taking care of oneself first. Marriage isn’t easy and the work is harder than just about anything else you will do but I am 28 years into my marriage with my eternal companion and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

References

Bednar, E. D. (2006, June). Marriage is essential to his eternal plan. Esign.

Hafen, E. B. (1996, November). Covenant Marriage. Ensign, p. 26.