Society's attempts to change marriage

Photo is personal taken of
my mother, myself and my daughter.

There are many ways a marriage can be attacked by outside influences, whether it is pornography, alcohol, other people or even the court case of Obergefell et al vs. Hodges. There are many who don’t see the importance a marriage and the solemn commitment that goes with it. The first presidency of the church has proclaimed that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God. We must remember that it is ordained of God and not of man. Although, there have been great changes recently in who can marry we must remember that this is a union which one of it’s purposes is to procreate, or to have children.

Marriage has recently come under attack in many ways, one being that of the number of children that are born to unwed mothers. “In 2012, 40% of all births in the United States were to unwed mothers. More than 50% of births to mothers under age 30 were out of wedlock. Further, the marriage rate has been declining since the 1980s.” This according to National Vital Statistics Reports; vol.62, no. 9.

Marital society has been under an attack also from the gay community by its many ways it tries to change the opinion to better accept those who are gay by placing gay characters in television shows, making being gay look comfortable, making those who do not accept this lifestyle appear to be bad. There are many ways that this influence is working to make us more accepting and less shocked by it according to “The overhauling of straight America by Marshall Kirk and Erastes Pill.

Theses efforts to change the view of marriage within society is happening in every corner of society by many people. It is our choice as to whether we accept this movement or stand steadfast in the beliefs of our church and The Family: A Proclamation to the World. It is a simple act that we have been a part of for many years. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints we have been awkward, we have struggled to be accepted and we have been told that our beliefs are out of date, are they? Is this change what is best for our families if it changes so much of what we see marriage to be?

In my opinion, marriage is a sacred act that has eternal ramifications. We must treat it as the solemn act it is and respect marriage to be able to teach our children through our actions to respect marriage to be the sacred experience it has been and will continue to be. 

Welcome to my blog. My name is Jen, I have been married for more than 28 years. My intention of this blog is to post my views on relationships, specifically for a class I am taking at school right now.

My first post will seem kind of odd, the topic of divorce. But, as you read it, you may notice there is great information given for how to strengthen your marriage and avoid the D word. As I thought of a title this old country song came to mind.

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Divorce, not something I have thought much about. I am a minority to many, I have been married to the same man for 28 + years. Although I have not experienced it personally it has touched my life in many ways, whether it is my siblings, extended family, friends, coworkers or the children that I work with on a daily basis.

We know that those most affected by divorce are the children.They suffer cognitively, socially and emotionally We learn in the article, The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social and Emotional Well-being of the Next Generation, by Paul R Amato that children “who grow up in a stable, two-parent family have a higher standard of living, receive more effective parenting, and are subjected to fewer stressful events and circumstances.” Unfortunately, as much as we love our children staying in a marriage for the sake of our children is not a good reason.

People divorce for many reasons. It may be because their spouse was unfaithful, their may be an addiction, or financial issues. In the article, Divorce by Dallin H. Oaks, we learn that the remedy for many issues “is not divorce but repentance…the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness…not separation but reformation.” It is imperative that those who are struggling seek counsel. Bishops do not advise couples to divorce, they can counsel couples on how to deal “with the consequences of their decisions.

There are choices to be made and actions to take as couples strive to repair their relationships. We are advised to avoid things that make us incompatible, be your partners best friend, be kind, be considerate, be sensitive to each other’s needs, always seek to make each other happy, be partners in finances and work together. There are also things we need to avoid and not do. These are things like not bringing up wrong doings regularly. We must remember that “festering is destructive; forgiving is divine.”

We must remember to pray together and “prayerfully plead for help and the healing power of the Atonement.” Elder Dallin H Oaks reminds us that “whatever the outcome and no matter how difficult your experiences, you have the promise that you will not be denied the blessings of eternal family relationships if you love the Lord, keep his commandments, and just do the best you can.”

Divorce is a part of our society, not every marriage will survive, all we can do is our best.

Paul R. Amato; The Future of Children, Vol. 15, No. 2, Marriage and Child Wellbeing (Autumn, 2005), pp. 75-96

Dallin H Oaks; Divorce, Ensign (May 2007)